História 2:00 a.m thought - Forever?¿

Some people believe in forever and others believe in nothing..  I did for so long that things would last forever the feeling I got from him was more then I could imagine and that the we, we build would and will last but it didn't he left just like everyone else started doing. He found someone else someone who is better then I'll ever be. It happen again with another guy and once again it started hurting a lot more that I let this happen over and over again. So I started to live by "hurt them before they hurt you" so that's what I've been doing my whole life now. 

I stopped believing in forever when that promised kept getting broken over and over not just in those relationships but in my friendships as well. I got into a relationship and I still don't know how to tell him that I still won't believe in it, we fight over everything and sometimes I give up on him cause he hurts my heart. I don't believe in the future most of the time cause I don't always see myself moving on from this spot. Once I'm out of school no ones stopping me from moving and going some where after and I don't want them to follow me everywhere I go cause you have your own future and it's not gonna be me. So no I don't believe in forever and no I don't promise it to anyone but my dog anymore.