História Joined - Chapter 9

The next morning was the most awkward they had ever encountered, and they had had a lot if awkward mornings since they had been made to live together. For once, Draco did not have to try to look away from Harry. He couldn't face him anyway. They hardly talked all day, and the rest of the students noticed.
"Harry? Are you alright?" Hermione asked gently at lunch. Ron too was looking at him concernedly.
"Yeah," Harry said. "Just thinking. Alot."
"What about, mate?" Ron said.
"Ron, he obviously doesn't want to tell us," Hermione said, shooting him a look.
Harry didn't say anything. He really didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to be alone, to think all day, but he couldn't, not without Draco at least. And Draco was the very person Harry wanted to get away from.
What did it all mean?

"I LOVE YOU TOO!"

The words rang in his mind over and over as he tried to analyze what they meant. He couldn't mean he actually loved him, could he? Maybe he had just meant as friends. This would've been an accurate excuse, but Draco's reaction afterward destroyed that idea. If it had been in a friendly way, Draco would've said so after Harry obviously took it a different way.
But he must've meant... as more.
The blush in Draco cheeks... the terrified expression on his face... his lack of words...
It said it all. Harry DID know what it meant.
He just couldn't get it through his brain.
Draco... hated him. Or he had. How on earth could he all of a sudden... it had only been... Harry wasn't even that LIKEABLE, how... why...
He remembered how their relationship had improved over the past few weeks. He remembered when he had started becoming friends with Draco by defending him from Blaise, and when Draco had had that dream about kissing him, and when he was sick, Draco cared for him.

"Draco, do you like me?"
"What?! No, of course not!"

And when Harry got poisoned, Draco certainly reacted differently than he would've if they were still enemies. And then Draco had actually said that he was worried about Harry getting hurt again when he had been caught having a nightmare.
Harry's heart half sank and half rose in realization. Draco really did love him. Harry really didn't know what to think of it. His first thought was 'do you like him back?'
But he really couldn't answer that.
He... didn't know how he felt towards Draco. He didn't have a name for it. He tried to ask himself questions like 'do you want too kiss him?' But all the answers were uncertain.
He just didn't know.
An unsettling thought crossed Harry's mind, but he knew it was true.
It was the fact that there was only one way to find out what his feelings were.
---------------------------------------------------
"...Harry?"
Draco was waving a hand in front of Harry.
"W-what?" Harry said, jerking out if his daze.
"I'm... sorry about... what I said. I didn't mean to... freak you out," Draco said, who looked like every word was killing him. "I don't want it to be awkward between us."
'You just expect it to be completely normal again, after you tell me you love me?' Harry thought.
"Yeah... Er... I'm sorry I was so on edge. But I need some time to process this," Harry said, turning back to his steak.
Draco knew this meant the conversation was over. He sighed softly, and turned back to his own dinner, which he picked at wistfully. This is exactly why he had planned to never tell Harry as long as he lived. He knew this would happen. Having to be with Harry all the time meant he couldn't hide, he couldn't avoid him, he couldn't have any dang time to himself, he just had to live in pain every day. He stared at his plate hard. It broke.
"Woah!" Harry said, jumping at the sudden shattering noise.
"Sorry," Draco muttered, pulling out his wand and using 'Scourgify'. He sighed. That just goes to show how much he was keeping inside.
"I'm tired. Can we go back to our room?" He said.
"I suppose," Harry said, eating one more bite of his food before getting up. Once they were in their room, Draco got dressed and lay in bed, his arm strained uncomfortably over the bed where Harry was sitting on the floor. He wanted to escape from life. Had Harry not been there he would have let out a dramatic cry of anguish. He silently begged to fall asleep before he exploded with undignified emotion.
"Draco?" He heard Harry say.
He didn't answer, pretending to be alseep. He snored quietly so Harry thought he was asleep and not just ignoring him.
Draco heard Harry sigh. "I don't know how I feel for you," Harry said. "I'm trying to figure it out."
Draco's heart stopped for a minute. Did that mean he still had a chance?
"I wish I liked you back. I really do," Harry continued, "but I just don't know."
Draco's heart sank again. Who was he kidding? Harry wasn't ever going to like him. It was ridiculous of him to think so. After everything he had done to Harry, and he just expected him to like him all of a sudden? He was an idiot. The sad truth sunk in, and Draco's eyes welled up with tears that he refused to shed.
Unfortunately, the lump in his throat caused him to gasp.
He could feel Harry's eyes on his back. "Draco?" He said. "...you're awake, aren't you?"
Draco sniffed in reply, trying to keep his running nose from dripping.
Harry sighed again. "I'm really, really sorry. I know how much this must hurt you." He squeezed Draco's hand a little. Draco immediately felt a surge of anger.
"Who are you to comfort me when YOU'RE the offending one?!" He said, sitting up and facing Harry. " 'I know how much this must hurt you'! YOU'RE the one hurting me!" His voice shook with the last sentence and another sob issued from his breath. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth, trying with all his might not to lose control.
"I'm really sorry," Harry said sympathetically.
"Sure you are! You act as if you can't do anything about it!" Draco yelled, angrily swiping away a stray tear.
"What do you expect me to do? Fake it?"
Draco fell silent. He didn't know what he wanted Harry to do about it, because he knew there wasn't anything to do. You couldn't make someone feel something.
"Look, I've told you, I don't know yet," Harry said. "Maybe... maybe it just hasn't been as clear to me."
Harry sat next to Draco on the bed.
"Mind if I try an experiment?"
"What do you mean?" Draco said.
"I'll show you," Harry said. He pressed his lips to Draco's. Draco's eyes widened as he realized what was happening. Harry was kissing him, and it was the most wonderful thing he had ever experienced. It was even better than he had imagined. Eventually Draco closed his eyes and moved his lips slowly against Harry's, and his heart fluttered when he felt Harry's tongue slide against his lips. He allowed him to enter his mouth and felt
tongue touch his. He felt something else too, and noticed that Harry was massaging his shoulders as his tongue massaged Draco's lips.
Harry was a really good kisser. Draco felt like he was going to melt into a pile of mush right there, but he stopped himself, even though Harry was making his legs rather weak. Finally his legs gave in and they stumbled to the bed, which broke them apart. They lay there gasping, and Draco looked at Harry expectantly.
"Draco," Harry said, as Draco held his breath.
"That was the best thing I ever experienced."
"So... does that mean?..."
"Yes. I... I think I love you too."
Draco's breath was still held; he didn't really no how to be relieved after being so worried.
Harry chuckled. "You seem a bit tense. Let me help you." And he connected their lips again.